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Leftover Bag Jokes


Leftover bags aren't funny. Not a laughing matter. But the fact is bags are leftover, and that sucks. Being down about
leftover bags' leftoverness isn't the best way to help do your part. Instead, cheer up, laugh a little, and pickup some bags.


Q: How many leftoverbags does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they're too busy screwing the planet.

Q: Why did the leftoverbag cross the road?
A: To get caught in the rain grate, washed down the sewer, through the waste
treatment facility, into the river, kill a 200 year old snapping turtle,
flow into the ocean, wrap around the snout of a baby dolphin starving it to
death and washing it to shore to rot, get picked up by a sea gull, caught on
it's talon dropped in a parking lot, ran over by a car, get caught on it's
exhaust pipe, till a bump releases it on the other side.

How many dead babies can you fit into a leftoverbag?
It depends on how full it is of dead puppies and kittens.

How many dead babies can you fit into a leftoverbag?

What's the difference between a leftoverbag and GW?
Nothing.  They're both empty, worthless, a product of big oil, and a threat
to our great nation.

How many Pollacks does it take to pick up a leftoverbag?


How do you find a leftoverbag in the spring time?
open your eyes

How do you keep leftoverbags from getting in trees?

How do you know your best friend is a jerk?
he leaves bags leftover

What's the difference between a leftoverbag and a Buddhist Monk?
Buddhist monks meditate...leftoverbags suffocate children.

How do you know if a leftoverbag is cheating at cards?
It's playing cards

What's a leftoverbags favorite season?
Global warming

What is a leftoverbags favorite meal?
your soul

Why do horses like leftoverbags?
because they are inherently evil and wretched beasts

How many leftoverbags will fit into a plane?
I don't know, ask Al Queda


2 leftoverbags walk into a bar.  Bartender says "we don't server your kind
So the one leftoverbag looks at the other and they float out.
5 minutes later 4 leftoverbags walk into the same bar.
Barkeep says  "We don't serve leftoverbags!"
The leftoverbags look at eachother, sigh, and leave.
5 minutes later 10 leftoverbags walk into the same bar.
The bartender says "I've said it twice! we don't serve your kind!  Now get
10 minutes later 100 bags fille into the bar 1 by 1.
The bartender is pissed  now.  "ALRIGHT!  THAT'S IT!  I'VE TOLD YOU 3 TIMES
The first bag of the group takes a step forward and speaks.
"we've come to to tell you something."
'WELL WHAT IS IT?" demands the bartender, "TELL ME AND GET THE HELL OUT OF
There is a brief pause and in unison 100 leftoverbags answered.
"We killed your family."
turned around and filed out the door.



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