Leftoverbags.com - The Blog

Mon. 12/01/08

I eat lunch often with my good friend Andy. He works at the State of Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources. They oversee state government land and regulate our precious resources. Which is why we were quite stunned when we looked outside and saw a blasted leftoverbag twittering around on a tree top, snagged on a branch. We decided that we are going to start an experiment and see how long our state officials will let this catastrophe remain for public observation. Will any one save this bag, or will we have to do it ourselves. Only time will tell.

Tues. 12/2/08
Not to our surprise the bag was still there. White, baggy, and very much leftover. The Head honcho of the DNR came in. We wanted to tell him that there was a leftoverbag stuck in the tree outside and he should get it, or instruct one of his minions to. We didn’t tell him, we want our study to remain objective. He didn’t even look out the window.

Wed. 12/03/08
Its snowing really bad today, 4 inches. The branches of the tree are coated with the first heavy snow of the year, the whitest kind. This makes the leftoverbag blend in very well, it’s natural camouflage. They are clearing the sidewalk underneath with a skid steer, they’re too focused on their work to look up. We wonder if it may fill with snow…i want to climb up there and get it out. But no, we must remain unbiased in our study.

Day 4: Thurs. 12/04/08- We had a guest at lunch today. He saw the bag, he was mad about it too. Then he said there weren’t any cougars in southwest Wisconsin and I got mad at him. But not as mad as I am about his bag. I feel like we should contact someone about this, the office manager perhaps, but would that interfere with our study?

Day 5: Friday. 12/05/08- Happy it is Friday. Angry the leftoverbag has been here for 5 days. It looks like there is something in it. Snow? A birds nest? We contemplate the tragic horror of what would happen to a family of birds if it were to make its nest in a leftoverbag. We worry about the weekend. What if it blows away? It doesn’t look like it, it’s wrapped around pretty tightly.

Day 8: Monday 12/08/08- Its still there. I’d actually checked Friday night too. It has been blown inside out so whatever was in there is gone….its innards are now exposed. Crying shame. If it is not gone by the end of the week we will report it….i want to report it now. It is freezing raining outside and they are predicting 12 inchse of snow….good luck getting a bag out of that…

Day 9 Tues 12/09/08- yeah, bag is definitely still there…despite this crazy weather. In the past 24 hours this leftoverbag has been rained on snowed on and blown around visciously……it does not look comfortable.

Day 10 Weds. 12/10/08- We didn’t have lunch together but we did check on the bag. We had a minor freak out when I thought that it was only hanging by one handle and about to blow away. I felt like the time had come to pick it up. Fuck the experiment this bag was on the way to being eternally leftover! Once I looked closer I saw that it was in fact tied tightly…..it made us seriously considered our objectivity and wonder how long we can let it go.

Day 11 Thur 12/11/08- bag still there, it looks cleaner. Probably from the weather….it shines brightly in the sun….it makes us angry, its like its mocking us.

As I was going to lunch I saw a big leftover bag flying around on the sidewalk on the opposite side of the road. It was a busy sidewalk there were a lot of people walking on it. They looked at the bag when they saw it flying, but they did not pick it up. They looked at it, and looked away, like it was a car accident or an ugly baby. It really pissed me off, I felt like screaming “HEY! HEY YOU JERKS! PICK UP THAT DAMNED LEFTOVERBAG!” But that would not be very nice. Instead I proved my point, by darting across the street, full speed as traffic was zooming towards me. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy or suicidal. I was not, I just wanted to get that damned leftoverbag picked up. I did not stop running after I crossed the road, instead I ran right up to that leftoverbag, swooped down, snatched it with my glove, and spun around and ran the other direction, as if nothing had happened. I bet those jerks won’t walk by a leftoverbag again without thinking about that incident.